


A Monster From Out of Town

by tiedyeflag



Category: Gravity Falls, The Property of Hate
Genre: And Failing, Crossover, rgb kidnapping kids from other dimensions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6914944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper and Mabel deal with monsters every shape and zip nearly daily, but one night they must face the (self proclaimed) very worst one, who's from out of town. Meanwhile, the snappily dressed monster on the search for a 'hero' captures the curiosity of everyone favorite dream demon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Monster From Out of Town

When people think 'demon', they usually picture ugly creatures with devilish intentions. Hostile, horrifying, and worthy of hate.  
  
They don't usually picture them as one eyed triangles in a top hat and a bowtie, sitting on a dreamscape tree branch while staring into space with their only eye.  
  
"Uugh…" Bill Cipher grumbled while rubbing the top of his triangular body, or forehead. "Geez, what kind of crazy kid would use fireworks in a puppet show?" He scrunched his eye shut. "Getting forced out of a human body is one thing, but being literally blown out of a puppet by  _explosives_  is another thing."  
  
The isosceles monster crosses his thin arms, still grumbling about his 'new found depreciation for pyrotechnics'. Yes, the whole body processing fiasco was three days ago, but the dull aches from the blast still lingered in his geometric body. Not aches of pain-he welcomed that-but the ache of humiliation that bubbles up from failure.  
  
"Grrr…" Bill growled as his body burned a fuming orange. His fists smoldered lightly, ready to burst into flames of frustration.  
  
He nearly missed the bizarre blur of a silhouette pass by his tree.  
  
"Wait-what?" Bill blinked.  _"Someone else's here in the dreamscape?!"_  
  
The demon rubbed his eye and stared as the peculiar being shifting away, whatever it was. It looked like some hologram with a corrupted light source so the shadow glitched and twitched beyond identification.  
  
"…Well that's weird." Bill muttered as he narrowed his eye. The silhouette wasn't human, but clearly wasn't a demon, either. Not one compatible with dreams, at any rate.  
  
After a pause, Bill snapped his fingers, summoned his doll-sized cane into his hand, and glided right behind the mysterious passer-by.  
  
"I don't know who or what you are, but I can see you're sentient. Since you've got me curious, and I'm bored as heck, I'm gonna keep my eye on you." He said as he spun his cane. "Normally I'd use my powers to get some dirt on you myself, but where's the fun in that?"

* * *

 

A pair of fancy shoes stepped onto the meek twigs that littered the ground next to the thickly trunked trees growing along the path. The evergreens dwarfed the five foot five man walking past them. He wasn't some simple minded hiker, however; this sharply dressed stranger didn't even have a human head, but a retro TV set hovering above his shoulders instead.  
  
Twirling his bamboo cane in his right hand, he gazed at a cheaply painted sign in the shape of an arrow with the sloppy words MYSTERY SHACK printed over it. Following the direction of the arrow, he continued to walk along the path.  
  
A swift gust of wind suddenly swept past him, taking his straw boater hat off his TV head.  
  
"Hey!" RGB cried with his blue and red striped blazer fluttering against his invisible body. Tightening his white gloved hands, he sprinted after his hat dancing with the wind. He leaped up with an outstretched hand, and caught his hat. However, he tripped over his feet as he landed, and was sent tumbling down a hill like a clumsy boulder.  
  
"Ow-oof-owch-eech-ow-ooh-OW!"  
  
The man landed at the base of the grassy hill with his limbs sprawled out like a puppet's. His test pattern mouth firmed into a frown as he sluggishly got back to his feet. After brushing the dust from his khaki pants and straightening his black bowtie, he placed his boater hat back on his head and looked in front of him.  
  
A worn down cabin with a ridiculously steep roof stood several yards away. Propped against one side of the roof was a large, cheaply made sign with the words MYSTERY HACK stuck onto it, with the red S lying below the lower portion of the sign.  
  
RGB strolled over to the front of the cabin, hearing the nighttime breeze spin the question mark weather vane of the tourist trap. When he looked above the entrance, he saw a triangular window gleam faintly in the moonlight.  
  
He pinched his thumb and middle finger together, and crisply snapped. Within seconds his forgotten cane spun through the air towards his hand as if magnetized. He caught it firmly with his right hand, spun it around with poise, and tossed it up to the window. It hooked onto the thin ledge of the window with a dull clack.  
  
RGB snapped his fingers again, but this time his body flew up towards the cane. He gripped the wood and pressed his feet against the wall. When he felt his body was secure, he hoisted himself up just enough to peek through the window. He couldn't make many details through the semi-foggy glass, but it was clearly void of any activity. Perfect.  
  
He slowly raised his free hand towards the middle of the glass, and quietly hooked his finger between the two halves of the glass. The man pulled it open, finding the window unlocked. With the swiftness of a cat burglar, he climbed inside, stepping over the humble desk standing below it.  
  
The pale wooden floorboards made faint whines under his weight. He looked around the dark room, using the light from his TV screen to illuminate his surroundings. On both sides of the room were beds, one clad in a blue blanket and the other covered in a bright pink sheet. Each bed took on a drastically different personality; the one to his left lay beneath a wall plastered with posters of adorable animals and glittery rainbows, while the right wall only held an antique painting of a ship.  
  
RGB studied the figures sleeping under the blankets. The blue, reserved bed held a brown haired twelve year old boy that slept with one arm lazily curled around a thick book. When RGB gazed at the other bed, he found a girl of similar hair and age snuggled next to a stuffed animal.  
  
"Twins, hm?" He mumbled. "They both seem equally capable…I suppose I could try a double deal?" The man held the bottom of his screen like a chin. After a pause, he approached the girl's bed.  
  
"Well, ladies first." RGB cleared his throat, assumed a gentlemanly posture, and leaned over the girl slightly.  
  
"I say…"  
  
The girl's lips twitched, but still asleep.  
  
"I  _said_ , I say…" RGB repeated.  
  
"Mmm…" She mumbled. "Heehee…pink cupcakes…Zzz..."  
  
"W-what?" He stuttered, his mouth fluctuating with surprise. Growing impatient, he gently shook her by the shoulder.  
  
"A-HEM. I said,  _I say_ …"  
  
"Hmm…pass me the confetti canon…Zzz..."  
  
"…Hn. This one seems to have an active imagination." RGB scratched his TV set before poking the end of his cane at her plump, rosy cheek.  
  
"Mmf…the dress suits you, Dipper…Zzz…"  
  
"And is incredibly hard to wake up." The man huffed, carelessly tapping his cane on her stuffed animal's nose.  
  
The pink mass flinched with a squeal, and blinked at him; it was not some charmingly made plushie, but a living, breathing pig!  
  
"W-wh-what on earth-?!"  
  
"Oink, oink!"  
  
RGB stepped back, but his foot landed on a pair of well chewed pens, forcing his balance out of whack. He clumsily danced on top of them, waving his arms wildly in the air, and fell on his bottom with his head hitting against the opposite bed.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"Zzz-w-what?" The boy's lethargic tongue managed. He rubbed the remains of his sleep out of his eyes before blinking at the scene next to his bedside.  
  
Squealing with curiosity, the plump, pink pig tumbled out of the girl's bed and trotted over to RGB and sniffed at the soles of his shoes.  
  
"Hey, shoo! Shoo!" He kicked at the air, trying to force the pig away. "Get back, you filthy animal! You'll soil my clothes!" Scrambling to his full height, he waved his hands at the creature, sending it jogging back to the other side of the room.  
  
Meanwhile, the brown haired girl in purple pajamas stirred at the sound of the pig's cries. She jolted upright with arched eyebrows.  
  
"Wha? Huh? Waddles?!"  
  
"Oink, oink!" The pig placed his hooves on the side of the mattress, staring at his mistress with bright eyes.  
  
"Are you oka…" She glanced over his rosy ears, seeing RGB brush invisible dust off his blazer.  
  
"Never work with children or animals…" He muttered to himself, not noticing the boy behind him staring at him, flabbergasted.  
  
"W-whoa!" The boy gasped, causing RGB to turn around.  
  
"Oh, so you're awake, too." He said calmly, elegantly holding his cane as he took a deep breath. "Now that we're all composed, I'd like to ask you two something…" He paused for charismatic effect, "…would you two like to be he-"  
  
"Omigod a TV man!" The girl squealed. "Can you play  _Dream Boy High_?"  
  
"…I-I beg your pardon?"  
  
"Mabel…" The boy groaned. "Now isn't the time for your favorite movies!"  
  
"Aw, Dipper," She whined. "Ever since Grunkle Stan banned me from watching them in the living room, I haven't been able to watch them at all!" The girl glared at RGB's screen with determination. "He never said anything about not watching it in the attic!"  
  
While Dipper slapped his palm over his face, Mabel dug through a chestnut wood dresser, tossing out girly knickknacks and do-dads in the process.  
  
"Um, excuse me, but can we please refrain from doing that…?" RGB waved his hands in front of his chest with tense shoulders.  
  
"...I think you're out of luck, Mabel." Dipper jumped out of his bed, observing RGB's head. "He looks like a pretty old model. I don't think he can play your movies."  
  
"What?!" Mabel whipped her head out of the drawer, stared at RGB for a moment, and then sighed in disappointment. "Aw, man…" She glumly closed the drawer and faced the man, crossing her arms over the floppy disk print on her oversized pajama shirt. "So, what do you want, Mr. Geezer TV?"  
  
"…Excuse me, young lady," RGB hissed, trying to refrain from lashing out. "My name is RGB, and I am  _not_  a geezer."  
  
"What are you, then?" Dipper asked with suspicion in his voice. "Are…are you a monster?"  
  
RGB paused for a split second, feeling that familiar question ring through the air, and answered with an automatic, charming grin. "The very worst one."  
  
The boy blinked. "You're-wait, you admit it?" He pointed skeptically at RGB. "Like...it's no big deal?"  
  
"Huh, you're pretty honest for a monster!" Mabel poked at RGB's cane and stared at his screen. "You don't really look like one, though."  
  
"That's how you can tell." The man purred, tightening his bowtie before clearing his throat. "Now then, where were we…ah, yes!" He leaned forward, closer to the girl.  
  
"…would you like to be a h-"  
  
"If it's about any sort of deal, then we're out." Dipper interrupted while flipping madly through his book. RGB took a closer look at the cover, noticing the golden hand symbol on the cover, with six fingers and a number three on the palm.  
  
"Er-it's not really a 'deal'. It's…more like a-"  
  
"Hold it!" The boy barked while staring at a page in his book.  
  
"Watcha find?" Mabel peeked over his shoulder. RGB, instead of doing the same, merely tilted his head in confusion.  
  
"The page is a bit dirty, so I can't read it all, but the picture looks like him." He pointed at the man before reading aloud. "Let's see…'The aregee…something… is a horrendous creature of the night…often dressing as a human to de…deceive its victims, especially…children, to…to…" Dipper gasped. " _To eat their bones?!_ "  
  
"WHAT?!" Mabel shouted.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" RGB's flinched, dropping his cane. "Let me see that." He ordered and swiftly plucked the thick book from Dipper's hands.  
  
"Hey!" The boy leaped for the book, but the monster held it out of reach. "Give me back my journal!"  
  
Meanwhile RGB glared at the page, oblivious to Dipper's efforts to reclaim the book. A few splatters of red paint (or blood?) blocked out some chunks of text, but most of the aged black ink was still readable. One page listed various comments and warnings about the aregee-whatever (the rest of the name was unreadable), and the adjacent page held a grim illustration of an unusual creature vaguely resembling himself-vaguely. Unlike the (self-proclaimed) sophisticated and refined monster holding the journal, the picture of the brute slouched heavily with its too-long arms nearly dragging the ground. It wore a tattered tuxedo with a crude excuse of a top hat on its boxy head-which, furthermore, looked more like a trashed cardboard box than a retro TV set.  
  
"Hey, you!"  
  
"Wha-"  _POOWF!_  
  
A plump pillow was roughly tossed into RGB's face, causing the book to fall from his gloved hands. It landed on the hardwood floor with a dull thud, and was quickly snatched up by Dipper.  
  
"Take that, you bone-eating geezer TV!" Mabel roared as she swung another pillow at RGB.  
  
"Wait, calm down!" RGB pleaded while ducking Mabel's pillow. "I may be a monster, but I'm not the one in the book!"  
  
"Save your breath, you…you idiot box!" Dipper jabbed a finger at RGB, readying his own pillow.  
  
"Yeah!" The girl chimed with him. "You're not getting any bones tonight! You're gonna go on a diet!" She slammed her hot pink pillow into RGB's side.  
  
"Look, just calm down a mom-"  _POWF!_  "I said stop-"  _THUMF!_  "I'm not-MMFF!"  
  
RGB's vision suddenly became full of soft white mass. Blinded, he fell down to a sitting position, letting Dipper's pillow land into his lap.  
  
"I'm not here to eat you two! I can't even eat food, let alone human bones!"  
  
"Then why'd you barge into our room?!" Mabel pointed her pillow threateningly at the man as he got back to his feet. "Are you after my brother's journal?"  
  
"Of course not." RGB took a step back.  
  
"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel came closer.  
  
"I've never heard of him before." Another backwards step.  
  
"My sticker collection?"  
  
"Why would I even care about something-"  
  
RGB's heel knocked against the fat pig, tipping his body towards the triangular window.  
  
"like thaaaaaAAAAAAAAT?!"  _CRASH!_  
  
RGB's body slammed against the rough wood of the Mystery Shack's entrance. Feeling dizzy, he rubbed his screen.  
  
"Ugh, damn my head…" As he stood back up, he felt his cane fall on top of his head with his hat, deepening the ache.  
  
"Now scram! And don't ever come back!" Dipper shouted from the window with his sister beside him.  
  
"'Cause the Mystery Shack is officially off-limits to  _you_!" Mabel stuck her tongue out, and slammed the glass shut with her brother. The mighty force, however, was too much for the window. It crackled like a witch's laughter, and crumbled into handfuls of jagged glass, some falling on RGB, and the rest landing inside the attic room.  
  
"Uh-oh…" Mabel bit her lip, revealing her silver braces. "Grunkle Stan's not gonna be happy when he sees this…"  
  
As if on cue, a grouchy knock banged from the attic door, followed by a grumpy slam and a gruff, "What the heck's with all that racket I hear?!"  
  
"I-It wasn't us, Grunkle Stan!" Dipper cried. "There was a monster in here! He did it!"  
  
"Yeah, some ancient monster that was gonna eat our bones!" Mabel elaborated.  
  
"Hah, as if!" The adult male voice boomed. "Now here's how I see it; you kids were horsing around, broke the window, and now you're trying to pin the blame on some made-up weirdo."  
  
"What? No way!"  
  
"But we're telling the truth, Grunkle Stan! It was a monster in a suit-"  
  
"-and with a geezer TV for a head! Really!"  
  
RGB sighed, picked up his cane, and walked away from the Mystery Shack. No point in sticking around anymore.  
  
"Hmph. My TV is not  _that_  old…" He muttered to the cool, nighttime air while occasionally batting his cane against a tree to vent off some steam. "They would've made terrible heroes, anyway…"  
  
 _"You don't say!"_  
  
RGB stopped, still as a frightened rabbit in headlights.  
  
"W-what?" RGB frantically scanned his surroundings for the owner of the voice. "W-who said that? Who goes there?!"  
  
 _"Ooh, little jittery, eh? Bit on edge?"_  
  
"W-where are you?!" His antennas twitched nervously. "S-s-show yourself!"  
  
 _"Hm, that might be a bit tricky. Hang tight for a sec' and let me see what I can do."_  
  
Before RGB could retort, the chilly wind picked up, cutting past him crisply. While he held onto his boater hat, the trees and bushes around him shimmered like mirages, with their colors melting into black and white. The bark on the trees flinched like computer glitches while the clouds in the sky danced like bacteria in a Petri dish.  
  
"U-ugh-!" He lurched forward, pressing his hand against his rainbow mouth. Sickening saturated inks dripped past his fingers, mysteriously not staining his pure white gloves.  
  
"Hey, no vomiting in the dreamscape! I'm not a janitor!"  
  
RGB inhaled shakily and looked up. A golden isosceles triangle with an eye in the middle floated in front of him. It-or he, judging by the voice-wore a miniature black bowtie and top hat, and sticking out of his three sides were noodle thin arms and legs.  
  
"You're weird, you know that?" The triangle leaned on his can in midair. "Seriously, I had to force you in here, and that's pretty rare! Then again," He paused, scratching his 'chin', "it's not every day I come across someone allergic to dreams like you, RGB!"  
  
"W-what?" RGB stammered. "How do you know my name?"  
  
"Oh, I know lots of things…" He chuckled as he playfully tap danced in the air around RGB. Then he stopped and snapped his fingers.  
  
"You're scared to death of water!"  
  
Before RGB could comment on this, the triangle split into two, and the newly formed double snapped his fingers as well.  
  
"You're real name isn't RGB!"  
  
As if two wasn't enough, a third copy walked from behind the original, staring at the man.  
  
" _And_ …oho, this is interesting…" The playful number three pointed accusingly at RGB. "You spend a LOT of time thinking about this pink-haired cyclops lady!"  
  
RGB cringed with embarrassment as magenta and red ink spewed out of his mouth. The triangle trio paid him no mind, however, as one demanded, "Ooh, gimme details! Details!"  
  
Without hesitation, the triangles huddled into a circle, whispering amongst themselves. After a few undistinguishable phrases, the original triangle blinked at RGB, giggling, "Oh…that is  _scandalous_!"  
  
"H-HEY!" The man protested, mortified. If he possessed a human face, then his face would be burning a bright, bright pink. "That's none of your business! And who the hell are you, anyway!?"  
  
The three glanced at him. Then two of them merged into the one in the middle, forming a single snappily dressed triangle. "Oh, where are my manners?" He tipped his hat. "Name's Bill Cipher. Nice ta' metcha!"  
  
"Okay, then…how exactly do you know my name?" RGB pointed at Bill. "I would definitely remember meeting a levitating, inquisitive triangle such as you."  
  
"Simple, Jeebs!" Bill chirped, ignoring RGB's displeasure at his new nickname. "I'm a dream demon, see? So everyone's mind is like a safe full of every itty-bitty thing they know, and I've got the master key!" The demon suddenly turned away with his hands behind his back. "Of course, getting info on you was a bit tricky…Normally I just pop into your dreams, but your body doesn't seem to bode well with them." He spun back around with his palms in front of him. "To meet you face to face, I had to force you in between the dreamscape and reality. Middle ground, y'know?"  
  
"Hm, that must be why I'm feeling so nauseous…" RGB hissed, fighting the nasty sensation pinching his stomach.  
  
"Yeah, this half-dimension isn't that stable." Bill eyed the trippy surroundings. "You'd better get out of here before you start puking up rainbows like those gnomes." The paranormal nacho bowed and tipped his black hat one last time before singing, "'Till we meet again, Jeebs!"  
  
 _SNAP!_

* * *

 

"…W…what?"  
  
RGB shook his head slightly as the static cleared from his screen. He found himself staring at his feet sticking out in front of him with his cane laid on top of his thighs. When the man shifted, he felt his back brush against the thick bark of a tree, and his bottom sitting in the cool grass.  
  
 _"Have I…been sleeping this whole time?"_  He pondered while cautiously getting up. Once on his feet, he looked up at the early morning sky, gleaming with the colors of breaking dawn.  
  
"…Well, it's not like it matters…" He shrugged as he brushed his sleeves. "I've been here too long, anyway." Giving the tree he was leaning against earlier one last glance, he spun on his heels and strolled away with cheap cane in hand.  
  
He paid no mind to the shadows decorating the ground, especially the geometric shape sitting on a tree branch that closely resembled a certain dream demon's silhouette.

**Author's Note:**

> And old but a goodie! But man uploading old fics takes a lot of time here...why can't ff.net and tumblr let imports plz
> 
> Also long live the corn chip


End file.
